Print this you mother...

After many months of my printer not working, and countless attempts to fix it.

It has finally started printing something, but not what I told it to print and it has managed to feed itself four sheets of paper at once (it must have built up quite an apatite whilst it sat on my shelf doing fuck all) and to top it all of, the four sheets are coming out diagonally.

When I say coming out I mean, the started to emerge and then stopped. Yes that’s it, four sheets, stuck, jammed and half finished.

The top of the sheet says “HP Deskjet, Hp’s most versatile colour printer for pcs” , well it is about to become even more versatile as I am going to take it to the Ormeau bridge and throw it in the fuckin’ Lagan river (I would love too, so, so, so much).

But wait, if I tap the paper feed button repeatedly I seem to be able to make the paper shift very slowly (I can hardly see it moving at all).

It seems if I continue tapping the button I may be able to get the paper out (and grow a beard at the same time… I’m thinking it might be less traumatic to sell my arse to sailors and buy a printer with the money I make).

Right, it is now 1.08 am, I am gonna count how many times I have to tap this button in order to get the paper out… here we go…….. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, ….. 30….50…79… I give up, time for plan B; rip all four sheets out at once… and… it worked.

So now I am gonna try it again, I will try to print this… wish me luck… (it is now1.20)

I am shocked, it worked!! It actually fuckin’ worked, not very good quality, but still.

So it works… after all this it works, not very well but still… I guess that means it won’t be taking a dip in the Lagan just yet.