don't think, just do! (i think)

I’ve come to accept some things in the past while, in relation to relationships (as in time spent with members of the opposite sex that I find attractive).

I have spent years feeling inferior, lowly and insecure.

I don’t know why.
I would like to think that it is because I am embarrassed to be male, that the lack of respect I see other men giving to women makes me want to even things out by being totally timid and shy. Always waiting for the woman to make the first move, not wanting to be too forceful.

But in truth, I am probably just insecure and nervous.

In my experience, women want men to approach them, that’s the way thing are done.

Maybe it will change, I do think that women have power over men, but men think they are in control. Bullshit! Women are in touch with there sexuality, most men are just cocks with legs… well, who am I to think I am different. Just because I think about things and analyse them in depth, all of that means nothing.




I am very aware that analysing every bit of behaviour can produce profound and deep revelations. But when I am wrong (as everybody is at one time or another), I get things so mixed up and confused that I end up filling my head full of crap. And start to believe that crap.
That is probably human nature, but I think too much and must stop.

I went to see the doctor and told him that I think too much and get very depressed because of it (and I mean full on depression) and he gave me some advice, he told me to “Stop thinking”.

Well if only someone had told me that ten years ago. All I have to do is stop thinking, easy fuckin’ peasy.

My lot in life is to think and think and think, all I can do is try. Try to control my mind
and not let it take me away.

I think I can do that, I hope I can, because if I don’t, I am well and truly fucked.

So all I know for now is, I need to focus my energy and thought on constructive tasks, get myself educated and use my mind to learn.
Tire my brain so that I don’t have any energy left, and then maybe I won’t lie awake in bed at night, spending hours thinking about a something that took up five minutes of my day.
Well that’s the plan anyway…