Life, oh life, oh life!

This past while I have been caught in a mist
So angry and unhappy, except when I’m pissed
At least if feels that way and I have to say
I am sad for the smiles that I’ve missed.

I feel alone and unwanted, left out in the cold
My heart thumps and moans and a sickness does grow
Till it fills me, consumes me and I cannot eat
Filled with sadness, frustration and the stench of defeat

The tears that I need, never shall fall
My soul is a well; well I don’t feel at all
My illness is sadness, my sadness is ill
Ill content’s hard, a nightmare to kill

A dam keeps the tears high and stockpiled inside
When they come they are violent and so hard to hide
A reservoir of sadness a mountain of pain
One day I may drown, pulled down by my brain

Thoughts often a muddle, pain lives my eyes
Sweet songs replaced by shudders and sighs
Bound up with tension, cold and unwell
My life could be heaven but I’m living in hell.